I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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