He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
