taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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