She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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