Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
