Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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