We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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