just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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