turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
