You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize