I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
