I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
its not stalking. its research.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
