Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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