He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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