im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
