go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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