so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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