You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
