I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Randomize
