We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
