Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
