Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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