idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
