Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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