Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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