im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
