Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
