If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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