Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
