Banned from zoo.
Again?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize