My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
time to smoke my breakfast
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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