my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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