I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
