Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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