Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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