The maid of honor just puked.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
