i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
