By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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