Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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