It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
