Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
