I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
