Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
