I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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