My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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