Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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