please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
