what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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