What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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