just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
