You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
