I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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