I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
