You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
