...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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