Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
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You. Win. At. Life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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