Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
