good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
