He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
