I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
