Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
