Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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