Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
