he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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