Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
