Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize